As a psychotherapist who helps people bump their overall happiness level up a few notches3, I've heard pretty much all of the myths out there about happiness. The worst part is that these myths actually make you unhappy (messed up, right?) – so ditching them is, paradoxically, part of finding happiness.

 

When you achieve [whatever goal you're going after], you'll be happy

 

Land the promotion4, the spouse5, the Lambo, the goal weight, the condo, whatever it is – you'll finally experience eternal happiness. Hey, it's not your fault for believing this, since you've likely been fed the American dream since the moment you escaped from the womb.

 

But this logic6 is flawed. Achievements don't protect you from feeling like crap, and they definitely don't make you superhuman. Multimillionaires still get depressed7. People with "perfect" bodies still get dumped. Steady, passive income doesn't protect you from losing someone to cancer. If you can start appreciating where you are, rather than basing your sense of fulfillment on some future accomplishment8, you'll be much closer to happiness.

 

When you find the right person, you'll be happy

 

If you think being in a relationship is necessary for happiness, you're going to feel inadequate9 and probably anxious when you're single. There's no doubt a strong relationship can make your life better in a lot of ways, but it's certainly not a requirement. In fact, many people feel lonelier and more disconnected in a relationship than outside of one.

 

When you're unhappy, it's natural to blame your relationship status, but try not to – instead of waiting for your "soulmate" to bump into you like your life is a John Cusack movie, see if there are other ways to meet your needs. You know, ways that are in your control.